In the beginning God created sex. The very first chapter of first book of the Bible is a very brief summary of creation, yet it finds room to tell us that when God made the first man and first woman, He commanded them to “be fruitful and multiply”.
The Bible views sex as a normal part of normal human life.
The second chapter of Genesis gives more detail about creation including the creation of woman, and the marriage pronouncement.
“a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”Notice that all this took place before sin came into the world. Sex is not sin, but like every other gift of God, it is made to be used as He directs.
Every nation, city or family has its laws. They are essential for the regulation of society. Sometimes we may feel that God’s laws are there merely to spoil our pleasure, but careful consideration reveals that every one is there for human benefit - individual benefit and the well-being of all society. God reveals Himself as the supreme Father. Every good parent make rules for their children; restrictions that may be resented, but are for the child’s ultimate good. So it is with every commandment of God, including those concerning sex.
Sadly, the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, did not obey the one, simple law that God gave them, with the result that all of us are born dying creatures with a tendency to do wrong. For the meantime, our world is filled with sorrow and evil and death. That is not our present subject although it affects it. Genesis chapter three tells us what happened.
(NOTE: The command our first parents disobeyed did not involve sex. That had already been blessed by God. However it does seem that, against his better judgement, Adam was swayed by his wife. )
Marriage is a divine institution and it should be noticed that its function is not solely for the propagation of the race.
The LORD God said,
"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
(The word here translated “man” applies to either male or female.)
A husband and wife provide for each other what as individuals they cannot provide for themselves. This applies in many aspects of life besides sex. The couple can have greater strength as a couple, than the sum of their individual contributions.
The full benefits of marriage are available only when there is total, life-long commitment the one to the other. God ordains that sexual intercourse should be the crowning expression of intimacy between a man and a woman within marriage.
Problems Within Marriage.
The many and varied problems which can arise within marriage lie outside the scope of this article, but there is one general observation which is worth mention here:
As human beings we all have our weaknesses and our needs. The Bible invites men and women to turn to God
“Cast your burden on the LORD, And He shall sustain you; “
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Those who do not have God in their lives, tend to expect of their spouse more support and understanding than any human being can give. Such unreal expectations put stress on the marriage contributing to the shattered relationships and social upheaval which are features of a godless society.
De Facto Relationships.
We often hear it said that the only difference between a de facto relationship and a marriage, is a piece of paper. Although various governments are confusing the issue by changing their attitude to long term relationships, reflecting society’s changed attitude to marriage, this is not so.
By their very nature, de facto relationships leave the way open for severance of their ties. This makes the relationship quite different from the life-long commitment God intends for a man and a woman.
Christ’s teaching is plain. He repeated the original marriage blessing given in Genesis
“at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?
and then He added His own emphasis -
“So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
We can think of marriage as a package consisting of love expressed in caring and support, shared responsibilities, joys and sorrows, as well as the gratification of sexual needs. All aspects are so closely inter-related that if we try to separate out one part of the package, every part is injured in the process. Later marriage, whether to the present or a subsequent partner, will be of inferior quality. Although “stolen fruit is initially sweet”, sex outside marriage can never be as good as that existing within a marriage founded on God’s laws. The psyche with which we were created, is damaged when we flout Divine commands.
Our generation uses many different names for extramarital sex e.g. “having an affair”. This does not alter the fact that God hates adultery.
Extra-marital sex undermines marriage and has profound affects on not only on those involved, but on the next generation. This is all too evident as we look at society about us. God intended that most people would marry and start a new family. A husband and wife complimenting and supporting each other, create a stable, loving environment in which children can thrive.
Sex outside marriage is forbidden throughout the Bible. Even if we cannot understand why, the fact remains that this is the law of our Creator and He will reject those who defy Him. (Yet there is hope for those who sincerely repent.)
Two Bible quotations provide guidance on this question:
“If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
It is irresponsible and blameworthy in the sight of God to conceive children we cannot adequately care for.
“ The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
From this quotation it is obvious that sex was not intended purely for reproductive purposes, but to be a regular part of married life. However, that does not given one partner licence to abuse the other.
Western society is now blatantly sex-orientated. Religious and moral values are discarded as reliable contraception brings escalating sexual immorality, which God abhors. This is a major reason why Divine judgement is coming on our world. Sex outside marriage is sin against God, whether or not a child is conceived!.
Some people remain celibate all their lives. The Bible, ever realistic, enumerates both the problems and the advantages of this situation.
However, God has never asked celibacy of any particular class of people. In the Bible only one person was commanded not to marry. That was Jeremiah.
In Old Testament times, priests, including the High Priest , were expected to marry as were bishops and deacons in the New Testament. God places some restriction on whom His servants may marry. We are told to choose someone who is also a follower of Christ. The wisdom of this command is obvious, for how could we be truly happy and fulfilled, long-term, with anyone who did not share our love of God?
Sometimes obedience means that a believer will never marry but, as with all our trials, God has promised His help to cope if we are really trying to serve Him.
Some have felt that they could serve God better by remaining single like the apostle Paul found that the work God had given him to do, made marriage inadvisable. This is something between God and the individual.
Celibacy never was a tenet of the true church. 1 Timothy 4: 1 - 5 lists the characteristics of false religion and this includes those who “forbid people to marry” - verse 3.
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, King David and many other outstanding men of faith were married men. The Apostle Peter was a married man , whose wife travelled with him on his missionary journeys.
Despite old wives tales, masturbation does not produce blindness or insanity. Young people are tempted to experiment. Older people seek relief from deprivation and loneliness. Masturbation is the response of someone involved with themselves and their own needs. Self stimulation is introverted and limiting - the opposite of marriage.
“each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honourable,
not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God”
Masturbation inhibits spiritual growth. Only when we are looking upwards to God and outwards to our fellow(s), do humans begin to achieve their full potential. Jesus shows us the way. Christ’s way is to love God and love others. He said
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself
and take up his cross daily and follow me..”
In denying Himself completely, Jesus achieved greatness beyond any other man.
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully
has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
These words of Jesus tell us that in God’s eyes, imagining ourselves sinning is as bad as actually doing it. Pornography is cheapening and degrading both to the person looking at it and the person pictured.
Christ says that all the evil in the world comes from the inherent evil in the human heart.
“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct”
The call of the gospel is a call to cleanse our hearts - another way of saying that we must suppress our evil thoughts to make ourselves acceptable to God.
Although pornography does excite some to actually do evil, the majority of those who indulge in it merely enjoy watching. This is a double standard.
“Come near to God and he will come near to you.
Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. “
Pornography degrades all those involved. Emotional health and spiritual growth depend on replacing the doubtful and the evil with the positive and the good:
“let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.”
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.”
God made man and woman attractive to each other for the purpose of procreation and fulfillment within marriage, and under such circumstances sex is something to be treasured and carefully guarded.
God’s view of prostitution is shown by the fact that throughout scripture it is used as a symbol for false religion which He hates and will ultimately destroy.
We have already quoted 1 Corinthians chapter 6. Verses 15 to 20 deal with the matter of prostitution. Included are these words
“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself?
Shall I take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!........”
Yet countless girls and young women have been forced into prostitution without their consent. Often they are little more than slaves. No doubt, that is why the Bible does not condemn the prostitute as harshly as those who use them. Jesus found a ready audience among prostitutes in his day His message was that they must change their life style.
“Flee sexual immorality”
Although the Bible condemns all sex outside marriage, it is careful to stipulate that an innocent victim of rape is in no way to be considered guilty.
“........only the man who has done this shall die.
Do nothing to the girl; she has committed no sin deserving death.”
The Bible was thousands of years in advance of human thinking on this subject!
As victims of rape struggle to progress from being victims to being survivors, they can be assured of Divine understanding and help as the pray.
Paedophilia, Incest and Sex Involving Animals.
are all singled out for special cursing by God. See Deuteronomy 27:20 - 23
It is worth carefully reading Romans chapter 1 verses 18 to 32. Verse 18 makes it clear that the whole passage is about the wickedness of men which will be punished by God. Verse 26 says
“God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty of their perversion.”
It is contended that homosexuality is a normal alternative, that homosexuals were “born that way”. This is to argue with God. Even on a purely human level, we note the widespread use of toxic substances among homosexuals in an effort to gain satisfaction from their relationship. Is this normal? Is this natural? Such stimulation is not required in a heterosexual relationship.
God has placed his world under laws of cause and effect. Hating homosexuality, he ordained that those involved will suffer for their activities. Since long before AIDS came into the world, homosexuals have had a high incidence of disease; not only those classified as sexually transmitted diseases but others such as hepatitis and digestive tract disorders. Homosexuals who do survive, face a very miserable old age as a result of the breakdown of body parts used otherwise than was intended.
Homosexuality is accepted as an alternative life style in many societies today, just as it was in Sodom four thousand years ago! God destroyed Sodom for its wickedness and Jesus says to us
“It was the same in the days of Lot... but the day Lot left Sodom, fire and sulphar rained down from heaven and destroyed them all. It will be just like this when the Son of man is revealed.”
Parallel events will happen when Jesus returns:
“when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels , He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. They will be punished with everlasting destruction."
Homosexuality means short-term gratification for long-term disaster. Besides the considerable disease risks, we note that homosexuals are not happy people as evidenced by their high suicide rate. Typically they change partners frequently, ever seeking elusive satisfaction. Normal relationships become impossible. God in wisdom, forbids homosexuality.
Widespread publicity leads many to experiment with homosexuality today, who in other times would never have considered it. In Old Testament times it incurred a mandatory death penalty but today there is hope in Christ. In 1 Corinthians 6 verses 9 to 11, male prostitutes and homosexual offenders are listed along with adulterers and the sexually immoral, as those who will not “inherit the kingdom of God”. But, the apostle goes on to say
“and that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the spirit of our God.”
God says that with effort and His help, it is possible to overcome homosexual tendencies. There is no hope for those who continue in this sin.
There are a few people who have real difficulty in accepting the gender with which they were born. Some cross-dress and it is a measure of the depravity of our modern society, that the public seeks to be entertained by such people.
“A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man women’s clothing, For the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.”
Some go to extreme lengths to change their sex . This process is never entirely satisfactory, even from the point of view of the individual concerned. All possible surgery combined with full hormone therapy, can never completely turn a man into a woman or vice versa.
But far beyond such considerations, is the fact that it is contrary to God’s will.
God’s curse on our race following the defiant sin of our first parents, affects us all in different ways. Those who suffer with gender identity problems are disabled just as those who are blind or crippled or mentally ill.
A comparison could be with those who are profoundly deaf. The deaf person is handicapped in two ways for they do not live in silence. They cannot hear normal sounds but they are distracted by abnormal head-noise. So it is with those who have problems with their sexual identity. They do not have normal sexual feelings yet are plagued by abnormal desires.
God commands that such desires be repressed in the same way that those who are born with a violent nature must control it. Such men are not excused if they injure or murder. But God will reach out to all who ask Him for help in their particular difficulties, if they are truly trying to live as He asks. In a letter written “To those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be holy, together with all those everywhere who call on the name of the Lord Jesus...” the promise is made:
“God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it.”
To seek to change one’s gender is to question the LORD’S wisdom.
“But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to him that formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?”
1 Cor. 7:20 and 24 are also worth considering:
"Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called"
and... "Brethren, let every man wherein he is called, therein abide with God."
No one could not be said to be "abiding with God", when they had done everything possible to change the way God made them, could they?
God gave us gender specific roles in life. The Bible makes that quite clear. To seek to make a change is surely "to fight against God" - a very serious matter.
A small number of people are born whose sex is indeterminate, but this makes them no less “real people”. Again, the curse placed on our race is the cause of their situation with all its problems, equally with those who are born deformed in any other way.
To any who have sinned the Bible says
“He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”
In the beginning our first parents were created “very good” but their disobedience brought the Divine curse on our race. This is the source of all our problems, including those of sex and sexuality. The purpose of our site is to bring to your notice God’s solution to all human problems and how you personally can benefit from it.